This is a tough one because I know it exists everywhere, but the extent of it's damaging effect on ignorant minds is undoubtedly much more tenacious in the upper-Midwest toilet, known as Minnesota. Those of you who think I'm 'reaching' when it comes to this topic need to understand the cultural dominance that professional sports has on Minnesota and it's poor, unenlightened citizens. If your state is rife with boundless sports insanity then start your own blog, but I'm here to point out the faults of one, in particular, so I'm going to do that right now...
The Twin Cities has a handful of big league teams and it's all that matters to them. I'll admit I don't know much about Minnesota sports, let alone the teams that reside in other states across America, but, from the looks of it, Minnesota has a major league team for almost every sport there is. This is because MN is obviously a very 'sports friendly' state, due to the fact that the local government consists of clueless philistines who dissuade producers from making Hollywood movies here (remember Gran Torino? Yeah.) and the overall art scene being dominated by the rich and elderly.
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| Live for it! Let it consume you! |
Minnesota figures that, instead of striving to open up new opportunities for their residents and boost the comprehensive 'allure' for people from other parts of the country, they will simply stick exclusively to their good ol' fail-safe: professional sports. What this does, in turn, is shut many potential "doors" for those who wish to pursue something outside of the realm of athletics and/or just aren't that into watching sports. If you want a shot at being a reasonably successful actor, your most favorable option would be to leave Minnesota. If you want to be a stand-up comedian/comedy writer/screen writer/etc., you need to leave MN because your potential is extremely limited. Again, the state doesn't have the time, money or interest in getting on the "map" as far as non-athletics is concerned.
This isn't the only manner in which Minnesota citizens are burdened by the autocratic, overvalued megacorp grip of major league sports conglomerates. We have all these teams and these teams need stadiums! Not just any stadiums! Top-of-the-line stadiums, equipped with all of the newest and most expensive in technological advances to ensure the utmost in comfort and convenience while those multi-millionaires chase that ball around a patch of grass. Empty those pockets, tax-payers.
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| Not nearly big enough! |
It's a surreal concept to me when politics apply so heavily to what is, in total essence, a form of fleeting entertainment. A game. The same kind of game kids play for fun after school. Seeing governors and state representatives standing at podiums next to billionaire team owners, talking about legislation and passing bills to erect monstrous arenas to house Nike and Bud Light advertisements, all surrounding an activity so trivial to the lives of it's cretinous spectators.
An undeniable cause for my contempt for Minnesota-grown sports fanaticism is, of course, related to my general lack of appreciation for sports culture. That said, I honestly don't mind people anywhere just liking what they like. I just resent the sovereignty this state bestows upon athletes and their greedy, soulless organizations. But when they get to Minnesota, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Walk around, say, any big outdoor event in Minnesota and take notice of the local people's apparel. For every one AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Batman, Transformers or even Garfield shirt or hat, you'll see a dozen or so Twins, Vikings, Gophers or Wild emblems proudly emblazoned on people's clothes. Oversize jerseys on middle-age men, sporting the number of reprehensible child abuser and charity fraudster, Adrian Peterson, as if they were (or wanted to be) his high school sweetheart. They can only dream...
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| Pride in your physical appearance is clearly frowned upon. |
I guess when it comes down to it, majority rules. But what does that say about the majority of Minnesota residents and their one-track minds so narrowly fixated on something so monotonous that, in all, does nothing for them but fuel a false sense of local "pride" based on the accomplishments and earnings of others.
-Flotsam
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